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Unfortunately, Madame Web Is Bad in a Boring Way
Dakota Johnson seems to give up halfway through this latest superhero movie, which drags through the middle and is inept by the end.
Cassandra — Cassie to her friends, which include her EMT partner Ben (Adam Scott) and the trio of teenage girls she ends up trying to help — is one of the deeper cut characters that are pretty much all that’s left for Marvel and DC movies to dredge up at this point. It could make for an interesting exercise, pitting someone with knowledge and foresight but no physical gifts against Ezekiel Sims (Tahar Rahim), a proto-Spider-Man villain who can climb walls, punch hard, and poison with his touch. I wouldn’t say it’s joyless, because no film can be entirely without joy when it has Johnson hating on children and saying the line “Hope the spiders were worth it, Mom.” But it’s an $80 million project with no reason for existing aside from seeding spinoffs with the younger characters that are unlikely to actually happen.
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