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The Valley Season-Finale Recap: Divorce Court


After years of getting away with it, all of Jax’s lies and outbursts finally catch up with him.

No, I don’t mean any of his physical orifices, but the soft opening of his bar, Jax’s Studio City, which looks like someone put a handful of picnic tables out in front of a Lowe’s so you could do shots while staring at succulents. Jax’s “soft opening” (a phrase I hate as much as “cool beans” or “fur baby”) starts with Tom Schwartz showing up and saying, “Wow, it’s so rustic.” That’s the sort of adjective — like “cozy” or “comfortable” — that you only use when you’re trying to cover up a poor reaction. Brittany tells us that when the cameras stopped rolling, Jax started being even meaner to her, exacerbated by spending a lot of time at the bar and getting hangovers that made him especially cruel.

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