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The Real Housewives of Orange County Recap: Traitor Joes


They did The Traitors on Housewives, and it was somehow horrible?!

I don’t know who made up these rules, but I follow them to a T, or more accurately, a D. (Based on a 2019 study, 47 percent of married couples have sex less than once a week, so I’m batting better than average even though I’m usually pitching or catching.) If I — a horny homosexual in his mid-40s — can’t get it up for four sessions in one night with or without some little blue helpers, there is no way that John Janssen, who is 20 years older than me, is sticking it in Alexis’s Bellino more in one day than I fuck my husband in a month. If I did, I would spend a quarter of every day reading “#gay #gayboy #lgbtq #queer #gayhistory #selfies #gymselfies #gymbunnies #instagay #gaytattoo #mustache #hornysluts #lanadelraystan” at the end of every single photo in my feed.

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