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The Bachelorette Recap: The Main Thing


Could this possibly be the horniest season of The Bachelorette in history?

Somehow, during this three-dance move tutorial, Salmon sprains his wrist and worries about being “the first Persian to strip.” He retreats into his mind palace and cooks up a scheme that is unhinged. Sam M knows that he has a powerful sexual hold over Jenn and is ready to exploit that in front of people, and Devin is mainly worried about his body because he doesn’t have abs and a hairy chest. I’m here for even the barest acknowledgment of body types other than “Thunder Down Under dancer,” but we should talk about them without implying that weight loss is the solution to that lack of confidence.

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