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The Bachelor Recap: Save the Dates


Bachelor Cinematic Universe, remember who you are!

These women should be scheming and plotting and setting up a kissing-themed cornhole game, but instead they’re upset about Zoe’s completely rizz-less attempt at pulling Grant aside during a group date. I want to wrap half of them in one of those tinfoil emergency blankets, and I usually don’t have to do that until the first international trip and group date designed to make everyone expose their innermost trauma. Everyone feels way too exposed and vulnerable to write a few stupid lyrics in front of MARIO and learn an eight-count from CREATOR OF THE PUSSYCAT DOLLS ROBIN ANTIN.

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