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Skyler Higley Will Inevitably Get All the Trophies
“Success is meaningful based on the concept of value within our collective neoliberal psyche, but fuck all that shit, man. Open your mind!”
Once we did our assembly to present campaign speeches, I essentially just did stand-up and closed with “I’m Skyler Higley, and if you don’t vote for me, you’re racist.” I got sent directly to the principal’s office after, but I also won. Ever since I saw Conan O’Brien Can’t Stop when I was 14, I’ve been a huge fan of Jay Leno.” There were a lot of media outlets that ran retrospectives of his career on television, and to be mentioned in some of those, even as a very small footnote in that legacy, felt cool. The few handfuls of people who did buy tickets at the door heckled, made high-pitched “bomb-dropping” noises after every punch line, and walked out during the show talking shit about how bad I was and refusing to pay for their drinks.
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