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Piglets review: Every single joke's a misfire in this criminally unfunny police comedy, writes CHRISTOPHER STEVENS


Piglets does almost everything right. It's a proven format, the trainee-coppers-as-schoolkids set-up, a classic pioneered by Police Academy movies and perfected by Brooklyn Nine-Nine

The ITV computer is programmed to inject sexual innuendo every three lines, and ensure a character falls over or gets injured through an act of exaggerated stupidity in alternate scenes. Comedy as a squad effort is standard for American sitcoms, where the writers' room often comprises a dozen or more gag merchants, competing to bully their best zingers into the script. Take this speech last week by Colin McFarlane as the Chief Super: 'Intel from the CIC is limited,' he declares, before revealing there's a mole connected to an OCG, and the NCA is worried that the AC unit will be compromised.

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