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My Quest to Exterminate an Earworm


What happens when a Fall Out Boy song gets stuck in your head — and never leaves?

In the mornings, when the song would start looping, I thought about the Seinfeld episode where George has “Master of the House” stuck in his head and Jerry tells him about the composer Robert Schumann, who went insane due to a persistent A-note ringing in his ears. Every morning, when I wake up with Patrick Stump wailing in my head, I get on with my day, hoping that there’ll be a pocket of quiet.I was determined to find relief, ideally without having to resort to medication — and in the process, I wanted to learn how the song got embedded in the first place. I told Loiperdinger that, despite the use of noise-canceling headphones and her soothing voice, I was still affected by outside noises: buses, people chatting as they walked past, my neighbor playing the recorder for the fourth hour in a row.

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