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I went to a tragic celebrity dinner party where everyone was on Ozempic and the hollow-eyed stars gave me alarming confessions: JANA HOCKING
The modern status symbol isn't what you're wearing, or whom you arrived with - it's how little you can consume while still pretending to enjoy yourself.
Once upon a time, guests would hover around the kitchen door, waiting for waitstaff to float out with their trays before we all pounced in unison, now everyone seemed to be actively avoiding them. I found the one other person in the room who looked like they were on speaking terms with bread - a devastatingly handsome Italian man, by the way - and clung to him all night. So here's my call to arms: if you're lucky enough to be invited to an event where you will be surrounded by good food and half-decent people, for the love of béarnaise, eat the damn pasta.
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