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I Don’t Know Why, But Snow White Is Totally About Lefty Infighting
In a tale as old as time, a sheltered princess meets a rakish dirtbag leftist who radicalizes her by negging her about her privilege.
The shortcomings of Snow White — which was directed by The Amazing Spider-Man ’s Marc Webb and written by The Girl on the Train ’s Erin Cressida Wilson — aren’t on star Rachel Zegler, who, despite being set up as a fall gal by the studio, gives excellent princess face while communing with CGI animals and belting out the chorus of the remake’s newly added “I Wish” song, whose role in the film you will not miss, given that it’s called “Waiting on a Wish.” But the funny thing about her take on the storybook standard is that, in the context of the movie, the character is effectively a normie lib dithering about how to fight back against the fascist takeover of her kingdom by her stepmother, the Evil Queen, played by Gal Gadot in a glittery wimple and a performance so incredibly stilted it almost swings around to being good-bad. Snow White is an institutionalist, which I suppose is a given for a princess, pining for the idealized era of Obama’s/her father’s leadership, when her family would make apple pies so the working folks could have a small taste of luxury, and unable to conceive of a way to fight the Queen, who may be pretty flashy but who also came into power via the standard methods (marriage and magic). What’s left for a girl to do but attempt some coalition building among a ragtag crew that includes her septuple hosts, who I will not try to fit into this larger political allegory on account of their being abominations who can only be described as garden gnomes who’ve come to life while retaining their shellacked sheen.
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