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Gas-suppressing corsets... meat gut gowns... and the one celeb auditioning for a Kanye West porno: KENNEDY'S wickedly scathing verdict on the low fashion at the XXX-rated Met Gala

I was exhausted by the humorless extravagance and wouldn't have been surprised to see that pale-faced ghoul Effie Trinket from the Hunger Games strolling down the carpet next.

So, while actual pro-Hamas mobs raged through the streets of New York City desecrating war memorials and burning American flags last night, these self-satisfied schmucks felt perfectly safe and sound behind the barricades at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Almost Bezos – apparently shamed into a shaggy black lob (that's short for long-bob, you heathen) and an Oscar de la Renta gown of shattered glass and pearls swirled into giant roses that paroled her faultless assets into boobie prison. Not one to be out-washed, Doja Cat showed up dripping wet with silver eyeliner running down her face wearing a see-through white frock that burned the corneas of wholesome Gala-gazers with her typical unashamed prurience.

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