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Every Time Joe Pantoliano Has Died Onscreen

Plus some stats and stray observations — and a very scientific Italian scale.

The only sad thing about this death is that the title of this film caused the 2012 song “On Top of the World,” by American rock band Imagine Dragons, to be stuck in my head for at least eight hours. Captain Conrad Howard went out the best way any character can go out in a movie: after a long monologue during a girls’ basketball game in Los Angeles while wearing a Hawaiian shirt and a branded Sony sunglasses strap. Unrelated to the ranking, but I have added a dollop of Daisy to my scrambled eggs ever since I first watched The Sopranos in 2011, and it is a game changer, but I feel guilty every time because Ralphie, among many other crimes, beat an innocent Bada Bing stripper to death in a parking lot.

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