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Dark Matter Recap: A Grain of Sand on an Infinite Beach


It’s a small miracle that Evil Jason hasn’t gotten frustrated and jumped into a more exciting, easier dimension to concur.

Small details stymie him: First, he gets the sign of the Village Tap wrong, then he forgets that a wine bar, not a coffee shop, sits across the street from the real-life Logan Square watering hole where his nightmare began. Amanda B observes that trying to find his home universe is like seeking out “a grain of sand on an infinite beach.” She points out that he’s now seen various iterations of Daniela get shot in the head, succumb to a horrible virus, and fail to recognize him entirely. So I submit to you some other fake sequels to classic Chicago movies circa 1975–2018, in order of their imaginary release: Cooley U., The Blues Sisters, Riskier Business, The Retouchables, Thieves, Backdrafts, Higher Fidelity, Ferris Bueller Jr.’s Day Off, Walking Scared, Widowers,and Sixty Candles.

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