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Argylle review: Henry Cavill’s horrendous spy romp has some of the stupidest action scenes you’ll ever see

This woefully crummy caper from Matthew Vaughn is single-brain-cell stuff, and the big stars – Cavill and John Cena – barely even feature

During a promotional tour for Argylle Book Whatever, Elly is accosted on a train by a genuine spy, Sam Rockwell’s Aidan, who informs her that her life is in grave danger because her plots are suspiciously mirroring events in the real world of global espionage. However, it doesn’t give away anything beyond a further glimpse of the film’s abject crumminess to reveal this narrative zigzag has simply been lifted wholesale from one of the of the 21st century’s most famous and widely beloved spy thrillers. One, in which Howard clips SAS knives to the soles of her shoes and then supposedly ice-skates across an oil slick while shooting bad guys with a machine gun, is single-brain-cell stuff: you might as well be watching three minutes of Vaughn jangling some keys.

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