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AMANDA PLATELL: King Charles should stop dishing out gongs to pampered self promoters - and sort out the REAL problem

So David Beckham is to be awarded a knighthood in the King's Birthday Honours next week, while his pouting, frock-designer wife is to become 'Lady Beckham'.

Gorgeous lingerie model Abbey Clancy says she and her ex-footballer hubby Peter Crouch want to leave their metropolitan life, up sticks with their four kids and become farmers surrounded by donkeys and goats. As we schoolgirls were told back in Oz when a monster magpie swooped on us walking home, the birds are just looking for human hair to build nests – so we were given Second World War tin helmets. In the bitter legal battle between It Ends With Us actress Blake Lively and her co-star Justin Baldoni, now she has dropped two lurid claims of 'emotional distress' after his lawyers demanded to see her medical records – soon after she was reportedly dumped by ex-bestie Taylor Swift.

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