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‘I Thought Oppenheimer Was Mediocre’


What I saw, overheard, and swallowed behind the scenes at the 2024 Oscars.

He’s chatting with Alex Wolff, who pulls a small box out of his suit jacket to reveal two tiny mints, explaining that they are “from Japan” and “not drugs.” I eat one — I trust him, he was in Hereditary and knows why Ari Aster is like that about moms — and turn to Josh to say something about Pearl Harbor, realizing that he has actively participated in fictional World War II from multiple (2) angles. To physically get into Hollywood’s Dolby Theater, where the Oscars are held every year, is a Zelda-esque vision quest; my Uber driver and I fail over and over at deciphering the riddle-like directions for cars approaching the event and I end up staggering many city blocks by foot in already painful heels. I hide behind a large column at the top of those stairs and clock the celebs who are an hour-plus early to the event: Nicolas Cage, Matt Bomer, Zone of Interest director Jonathan Glazer, who sneaks by most people unnoticed, as does my good friend Josh Hartnett (in sunglasses) and his wife Tamsin Egerton; we don’t speak because we have said all we needed to say.

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