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‘All these normal people, packed into a human lasagne’: my glamour-free night at the Oscars

While the cameras lingered on the stars, thousands of non-celebrities were whooping it up in the Dolby theatre’s cheap seats. I was one of them

On the basis of Sunday night, the normal people are hellbent on walking the red carpet as slowly as possible, in the vain hope that they might hit the jackpot and accidentally end up in the background of a Getty Images gallery of someone recognisable. ‘The normal people are hellbent on walking the red carpet as slowly as possible, in the vain hope of ending up in the background of a Getty Images gallery.’ Photograph: Stuart HeritageThis woman was so relentlessly enthusiastic about her child that I found myself rooting for her, too. He turned to me, looked me straight in the eye and said: “This is getting really dangerous.” And that is how I had a brief but important exchange about escalator safety with Ed Begley Jr from Better Call Saul.

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