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How Did We Make Dinosaur Carnage So Boring?
Jurassic World Rebirth has done what this franchise always predicted: It’s made people getting eaten by prehistoric creatures look rote.
The irony is that despite these movies sucking varying degrees of ass, especially the third with its pointless detour into genetically engineered locust plagues, they’ve all reliably grossed over a billion dollars — a testament to the real world’s continued interest in prehistoric menace. What matters is that Zora and her team — including boat captain and fellow gun for hire Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali), Krebs, paleontologist Martin Loomis (Jonathan Bailey), and a few others who are clearly marked for death have to get within ten meters of these giant guys to shoot them with a blood-sampling cartridge. The other half is dedicated to the Delgado family — patriarch Reuben (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), precocious Isabella (Audrina Miranda), teenager Teresa (Luna Blaise), and her boyfriend Xavier (David Iacono) — who end up shipwrecked after a dino encounter.
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